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Dating a Purple guy - a summary

Purple personas are big-hearted, community-oriented guys who dream big and are not afraid to go after their dreams with enviable determination. Their goals rarely involve personal gain as these guys have a genuine hunger for making the world a better place. So their drive is not fuelled by naked ambitions or pride but rather by a desire to contribute to the society.

And man, are these guys well capable to do that! Purples tend to be very bright academically and possess sharp intellectual and philosophical skills. Also, their personality has a unique blend of creativity and vision combined with the discipline to fulfil their mission. When Purples get in the ‘zone’ where they are so focused on the task at hand, the rest of the world ceases to exist. Their mind goes on a wild adventure of analysing every possible hypothetical option, comparing it against every possible outcome and contemplating a precise plan of execution. And this extraordinary ability of Purples is their curse and blessing all in one. They are capable of doing ground-breaking things when they are given room to do things on a large scale but will do an equally great job, even if the task ahead of them doesn’t require a revolutionary approach. However, while bordering on the brink of genius in some cases with particularly gifted Purples, these men can easily lose touch with reality and drift so deep into their thoughts that for anyone around them, they are as good as not there. In a personal setting, it will take a specific type of woman to recognise this man’s abilities and be forgiving of the side effects that come with them.

Once you can accept the fact that once in a while this man will focus his entire attention on something that he sees as of high importance, you will be generously reimbursed for your patience and understanding.

Finding the ‘perfect’ partner is something Purples are not prepared to compromise on. They have worked out the details of what that partner should be like down to the smallest detail, and imagined time and time again what meeting that person will feel like, what the conversations will be about, how their dates will pan out, and a variety of other tiny things that the majority of other personas might not even take into consideration. So every time this man comes across a lady with a dating potential, he runs a mental crosscheck between what he sees in front of him against everything he fantasized about. If the woman in front of him looks like the pale version of what he’s looking for, he will have no hesitation in pulling back and holding out to see whom he’ll cross paths with. However, once he sees someone who displays a lot of qualities he’s looking for, he will have no problem diving head first into the romance. As a long-term partner, they are intensely loyal and family-oriented and are designed for the long haul. They won’t bow out at the first sign of trouble; rather they stick with someone they love through thick and thin and use their talents to help them work out any problems and issues.

Purples are notoriously difficult to get to know as they are extremely private, reserved and self-conscious. They are aware of these qualities and this contributes to the guilt they often experience for not giving more of themselves to those they care about. Their character is so multi-granular that sometimes Purples find themselves questioning and wondering why they are the way they are, as, without a shadow of a doubt, they are wonderfully unique in a variety of ways. It is one of the rarest personality types and the one that absolutely cannot be figured out in a single date, so if you come across this rare species, don’t walk by, explore what this man has to offer for the sake of experience if nothing else!

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What Purple men appreciate in a partner

Purple personas may idealistically aim to date someone who is very much like them; someone who has very strong values and principles, but also someone who is quite organised and decisive when the occasion calls for it. Purples take a shine towards women who are affectionate and socially-minded, as well as those who are driven, organised and decisive.

There is one thing that Purples cherish more than any other persona: authenticity. They are quite idealistic in the way they view the world and tend to see the best in people. It is hard to trick a Purple as they are very sharp at spotting inconsistencies and always look for what’s underneath the surface. So the surest way to impress this guy is to be yourself and own it.

Purples crave depth in a relationship and seek deep emotional connection with a partner. Their need for such closeness of souls by far exceeds any other persona’s need for a meaningful relationship. They are not interested in being in a relationship for the sake of it; they genuinely hold out for a soulmate-like can’t-breathe-without-you type of unity. Their vision of a partnership is unrealistically idealistic for most personas, but once they find that type of connection with someone, it reaches levels that most people can only dream about.

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A Purple guy's attitude to romance

Underneath their seemingly vain pursuit of a perfect partner, Purples tend to be passionate, hopeless romantics who treat their partner with respect and don’t have the need to infringe on their partner’s independence.

They are generous in their affection and put their partner’s pleasure above their own. They get their sense of fulfilment from knowing that their partner’s needs have been fully satisfied. They don’t hold back on showing their love and affection and regard courtship and romance just as important as intimacy.

It is well worth forgiving the Purple for their initial demanding persistence in finding the ‘ideal’ partner because if it happens to be you, you’ll be compensated threefold, as your Purple will commit himself to be the best partner you deserve while staying true to himself and encouraging you to do the same.

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Interesting facts about Purple men

Purples are probably the only persona that can’t properly exist without having a purpose or a cause, be it on a large scale like fulfilling their life’s mission or having a cause behind anything significant they do.

Without seeing the bigger picture in what they do, they can easily slip into a state of feeling lost, restless and disheartened. However, once the purpose is given to them, they can just as easily swing into the opposite extreme and emerge themselves into the process with such passion that routine tasks as well as their own day-to-day wellbeing can be severely neglected.

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How Purple men communicate

Because Purples are typically well-educated and intellectual people, they make for great conversationalists. They are visual thinkers who frequently use colourful metaphors, parables and references to literature when communicating their thoughts. They can keep people on their toes with their short bursts of intellectual banter. If you touch a subject that is of importance to them, they will impress you with their inspiring and convincing way of talking. They have strong opinions on most things and will not hesitate to jump into a debate to tirelessly fight for what they believe in. They can make astonishingly good orators, speaking with passion and connecting with listeners on a variety of levels.

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How Purple men manage their money

Purples are quite frugal and savvy with their money and are not prone to impulse buying or splurging without a good reason. However, they will not hesitate to invest their life savings into something that has a bigger cause. They are highly unlikely to splurge on a 5-star holiday but will have no problem investing a large sum of money in, let’s say, a dog shelter. They are regular contributors to charities and if they truly believe in the great purpose of something, money will not be an issue – they will either invest their own or will find someone to convince to contribute to the cause.

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How Purple men are with friends

Once Purples find people they click with, these friendships tend to last a lifetime. However, it has to be an arrangement full of mutual consideration and free of any criticism, as this is one thing that can push the Purple away with little chance of rekindling the relationship.

Purples rarely have friends amongst co-workers; these type of acquaintances are typically never promoted into a ‘friend’ status. A Purple needs almost a spiritual connection with someone to truly let them close. They love the idea of being close to a like-minded individual but don’t necessarily seek opportunities to socialise. They are fiercely loyal friends and will not think twice about dashing to help a friend when one is in need.

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How Purple men relate to time

Purples like to think of themselves as people with good time-managing skills and in their defence, they do put their best foot forward whenever possible out of sheer consideration for other people’s time. They will never set out to make arrangements in such a way where they neglectfully run late on purpose with the view of ‘they can wait, I have more important things to do’.

However, all of their best intentions hold no value when they go through the phase where they have their head deeply buried in a new project, cause or venture. On those days, things like arriving on time or paying bills on time seem irrelevant or simply don’t even cross their mind as they are too emerged in things that by far outrank on their scale of priorities.

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How Purple men make decisions

A Purple’s decision making skills are highly sophisticated as they tap into a variety of inner resources to come up with the best suitable solution for the problem. They combine their intuitive nature with their creative ability to see outside of conventional norms and use their analytical capabilities throughout the process to thoroughly evaluate all the outcomes.

Having said that, Purples are not quick to commit to decisions unless they are convinced they are making a fully educated choice. Once they feel they have all the resources and information to make a commitment, they will take the plunge without hesitation and will follow through on ideas with conviction, willpower and the planning necessary to see any complex project through to the end. In the dating context, a Purple man will have no problem taking the lead but will just as effortlessly walk away from an early relationship if it is not proving to live up to his expectations.

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Typical careers that you'd find Purple men in

Program directors, project directors, HR directors, consultants, mid to senior level management, analysts, facilitators, coaches, mentors, software developers, IT, engineering, community projects, social/youth workers, organisers in charities, local schools or community projects, poets, writers and actors

Note: This is not to label anyone and neither is it an exhaustive list. It is presented to give you a flavour of how Purples can apply themselves. This also does not mean a person from another persona can’t be in the careers mentioned.

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Irritating habits of Purple men

To be clear, items listed here may be irritating to some people and quite OK for others, depending who they are.

Purples carry the risk of being misunderstood more than any other personality. They combine a variety of traits, which are bordering on contradictory and tend to go through phases where their behaviour changes dramatically. This can easily frustrate people around them, especially those personalities who are very direct and outspoken.

Purples have a strong need for things to be fair and will tirelessly fight for justice, sometimes resorting to almost inadequate and erratic behaviour. Where most people would step back and let go, Purples will stubbornly attempt to fix the issue. However, their attempts to do that rarely have a constructive nature and can often resemble a runaway train.

Many people struggle to understand a Purple’s state of mind when they are immersed deeply in thought or an important project. Besides neglecting routine matters and day-to-day maintenance, they can easily come across as aloof, indifferent, distant and cold.

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What Purple men find irritating

Purples are well-mannered and polite who can find a way of clicking with most people, however, they will not even bother putting effort into establishing a connection with someone who is loud, brash, provocative and ignorant. So if you want to impress this guy on a first date, keep your composure and entice him with your intellect rather than bold or irreverent behaviour.

If you try to impress this guy with your intellectual skills, make sure you actually know what you are talking about. A pet hate of Purples is people who talk authoritatively about things they actually don’t know much about. Purples are very intuitive and attentive people that quickly read between the lines. They find it offensive when someone tries to pull wool over their eyes or plays mind games.

Purples get unsettled and annoyed by unclear communication. When they talk or explain something, they rarely lose train of thought and are capable of expressing the point comprehensively and concisely. Anyone who goes in roundabout ways, taking forever to make a point or not connecting the dots makes them impatient and even cross. Having said that, Purples can be very vague and evasive themselves when they don’t want to disclose certain information or commit to a decision, so while they would be demanding clarity from others, they reserve the privilege of double standards for their exclusive use. Anyone else trying to go for two sets of rules will firmly be pulled on that.

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How Purple men deal with emotions

Purples are certainly not the type of people that wear their heart on their sleeve. Being extremely private, they don’t showcase their emotions and are prone to bottling up feelings. They are very sensitive to criticism and conflict and take things very personally. They might be calm and collected on the outside, but on the inside, they are often very self-conscious and full of self-doubt.

It is not uncommon for Purples to bottle up feelings until the moment comes when they can take no more. When they explode, they can be very ratty, mean, tactless, and say hurtful things, which they end up sorely regretting afterwards.

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How Purple men deal with confrontation

While these men will passionately defend their beliefs or enthusiastically amuse you with random fascinating facts, they take a massive step back when debate turns into confrontation and they don’t handle criticism adequately. They will internalise even objective statements or facts, blow them out of proportion inside their heads and then serve you with an irrational blame game or weaponized guilt.

Purples are quite antagonistic in how they deal with confrontation. In many cases, they will resort to sarcasm and snide remarks instead of addressing the issue directly.

A Purple’s perception of a constructive conversation often differs to that of other people. Even simple suggestions can be taken personally by a Purple and taken offence to. They will try to avoid conversations with personal attacks at all costs but when they can’t and feel they’ve been pushed into a corner, they can be quite unpredictable in their reactions and in most cases, will fight back in irrational, unhelpful ways. Needless to say, these peculiarities of their character make resolving any conflict or argument quite a challenge.

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